If you've always suffered from poor self-esteem you can correct this perception of yourself and develop self-confidence by using techniques to train your subconscious mind. Your low opinion of yourself may have been formed by years of verbal abuse or lack of emotional support from your immediate family. No one comes into this world with poor self-esteem programmed into their genes. Your self-perception is formed by your family in your early, formative years.
Perhaps every time you felt good about yourself or about some goal you'd achieved, someone you loved and trusted downplayed your effort. When you were growing up you may have felt that your strengths were sabotaged and you were purposefully made to feel anxiety instead of confidence. Perhaps when you were young someone you were close to rejected you and you were never able to shake the feeling that there was something about yourself that was unlovable. Once you started to feel unworthy or not as good as other people your subconscious mind repeated those negative messages over and over again. At this point your confidence was completely shaken and your poor self esteem became a self-fulfilling prophecy.
What is Self-Esteem?
What do you see when you look in the mirror? Do you see an attractive, happy, self-confident person who's willing to tackle daily challenges? Or do you see someone who always feels unworthy or unlovable?
Individuals with a healthy level of self-esteem share certain characteristics. They:
- Act according to their own best judgment and don't feel disturbed if others don't like their choices.
- Believe in and are secure about their own values and principles.
- Recognize that failure happens to everyone.
- Learn and adapt from those failures so they can reap success.
- Trust in their own capacity to solve problems and don't let setbacks deter them from their goals.
- Ask for help when they need it.
- Feel confident that they are valuable, important, and lovable to those they are close to.
- Consider themselves equal in dignity to others while recognizing their own strengths and weaknesses.
Your self-esteem encompasses your belief system (I am confident. I am attractive. I am a high-achiever.) as well as your emotions (I feel happy. I feel frustrated. I feel unloved).
Curing Negative Self-Talk
Changing your own self-image begins with curing your continuous negative self talk. If you're constantly sending yourself the message that you're "unattractive" or "stupid" or "unworthy" or "always a failure" you can't create a new image of yourself. The truth is that even the most self-confident people have areas in their lives that make them feel anxious or unsure. You need to replace these negative statements with positive affirmations. At the beginning, your conscious mind won't let those statements in. Your beliefs about yourself are deep rooted in your subconscious mind. However if you continue to replace these negative, self-critical messages with new, positive, more confident ones, eventually your subconscious mind will accept your new image of yourself. The trick is to use all the different techniques available to you to get your conscious and subconscious mind to work in tandem to create the new you.
Using Hypnosis or Self-Hypnosis
To help your subconscious mind accept this new, positive, self-confident image of yourself, you can go to a hypnotherapist for help or you can use self-hypnosis. With practice you can learn to get your body and mind into a deeply relaxed, hypnotic state of consciousness. With this clear, intense focus you can give yourself positive suggestions that will help you to improve your self-confidence. When you are deeply relaxed, your conscious mind takes a back seat and it's easier for you to train your subconscious to accept the new messages you want it to receive.
- "I am happy and self-confident."
- "Failure is temporary. I will learn from this experience and be able to build upon it for future success."
- "There's really no such thing as failure. Each challenge I encounter is a temporary setback on my path to success."
- "I feel worthy to receive all the good things life has to offer."
- "I have a lot of positive talents and traits that will attract interesting people in both my personal and professional life."
- "I'm a very lovable person."
Using Positive Affirmations
When you create affirmations, you should write them as positive statements. The statements you write should be as detailed as possible and, if appropriate, customized for a particular area of self esteem you want to improve. For example, suppose you're really shy in social situations. Some sample affirmations might be:
- "I love interesting conversations with my co-workers."
- "When I'm relaxed, I'm the life of the party."
- "It's so much fun to go out for dinner and dancing with my friends."
- "I feel more comfortable every day in social situations."
- "I like to be the center of attention sometimes."
- "I'm genuinely interested in other people and what they think."
Once you create these affirmations, you can repeat them frequently throughout the day or place them where you'll see them frequently. In addition to using self-hypnosis to re-train your subconscious mind you can also repeat them consciously throughout the day. In addition to repeating the statements to yourself, you should feel the positive feelings you'd experience once you've boosted your self-confidence. For example you have to be able to feel happy feelings as you're the center of attention and while you're in social situations.
Using Visualization Techniques
Just as sports figures repeat successful techniques for winning in their minds before they actually score the touchdown or the hole in one, you can do the same. Visualize your new, self-confident personality in detail as you gain new friends and make significant progress toward your life goals. You can do this by daydreaming, through hypnosis, or by creating vision boards that express your new positive feelings and interests. If you have art talent, you can draw a picture of your new personality and keep it where you'll see it all the time.
Using Subliminal Audio
One way to tap into your subconscious mind more rapidly is through the use of subliminal audio. There are audios specifically designed to help you solidify your self-esteem and self-confidence. These audios have positive affirmations that are recorded at a level where you conscious mind won't reject them but your subconscious minds can still absorb them. Using these audios in combination with the other techniques for training your subconscious mind will allow you to change your image of yourself so you can move through life with more self-confidence and ease.
Using Goal Setting to Build Your Self-Confidence
In addition to the techniques you'll use to tap into your subconscious mind, you can also use goal-setting to help you build your self confidence. Suppose you feel that your self-esteem is lacking in terms of your attractiveness. In addition to the positive messages and positive visualization techniques you'll use, you can also set up a short list of goals for yourself to achieve.
- "I'll get an attractive new haircut that suits my face."
- "I'll get a facial and have my nails done."
- "I'll play up my best features by picking colors that look great on me."
- "When I feel good and am well rested, I feel more attractive."